So many of us hold onto worry with a death grip.
Especially when it comes to our teen/young adult children.
We may say that we wish we could worry less, but truthfully we are scared shitless to let it go.
Worry is a habit like any other and habits are hard to change. When the brain has a deeply repeated pattern it just goes there on default, right?
So, the question is then WHY? Why does your brain create this pattern in the first place?
What’s the reward?? (The brain always gets a reward).
In other words, how is worry serving you?
Understanding this will explain WHY you can’t let it go easily.
First, worry feels USEFUL.
The feeling of worry creates the action of control. Control, while futile, seems like you’re doing something. I mean, we care right??? We have to DO something when we care, yes?
And,
This one is hard to hear….
Worrying about “them” is keeping you from focusing on YOU. Chances are your worry is protective – it’s saving you from feeling a lot of icky emotions.
But, IF you spent the emotional energy that you put into worrying or controlling “them”, into YOU – what would that look like?
For some of you who struggle to find 5 or 10 minutes a day to be reflective, what could this mean for you?
Time to journal? Time to get in touch with your dreams? Space to think about what you want to create for yourself in your life? Time to get to know the person you’ve been running from?
Learning to lean out of what is familiar – trying to control everyone and everything out there to feel better – and into what you can only control, YOU, can feel scary and so so daunting.
But, I promise you, it is worth it.
You are worth it.